Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
