My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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