He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
