i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
