good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
