My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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