like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
