dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
