I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
