A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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