Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
