Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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