I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
