a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
