i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
