He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Panties = found
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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