I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Non-Jews are for practice
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
