I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
