oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
