Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
