After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
