Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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