FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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