the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its not stalking. its research.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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