Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
