Michael Bay diarrhea
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
