she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
