I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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