I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
