All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
