Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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