Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
