True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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