yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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