yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
