chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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