I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
