Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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