i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
