i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
