There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
