Define "chronic" masturbator.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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