Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
