I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
