i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
