You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
