Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
