Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
