This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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