you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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